Merry Christmas dear reader! The contents that follow might get you jealous if you’re not an Ewe lady. If you’re a guy dating a lady or married to one outside the Volta circles, I kindly plead that you shed no tears or keep no pain in your heart.

Kindly take a paper. I know you’ve done that. Write down the names of five young Ewe ladies you know or have as friends. Go to your gallery if you have their photos. My goodness! Are they not beautiful? Tell me you don’t need a goddess to proudly walk around with to all the fun places you’ve pinned down for Xmas. To married men, sshh, lemme tell you this – some people just visit to admire the beauty of your wife oo. If your wife is an Ewe lady, you’re lucky. They will pass by with hampers just to behold her beauty. Hold no fears, your house will soon become a provision shop before 28th. Mark it. For the guys who are dating them, the admirers will just sponsor every hangout because of that Emefa, Enyonam, Esinam, Venuye, Ewoenam or Fafali.

Great! Away from that. One interesting trait of an Ewe lady. They are kitchen magicians. What! They can cook! I know you want to have a strong wallet even after all these series of fun. Get an Ewe lady! Just 300 cedis will give you proper “home chow” with different types of local dishes to choose from. Yess! They can do great stuff with small budgets. I prefer to keep mute over examples of such dishes. I want to save your lips and tongues from food-gasms! Too early to get wet.

You need some “home chow”and some home made drinks. You shouldn’t be doing “chichis” the whole season. Belly troubles and immune system wahala are real. I don’t want to believe you wish to spend Valentine’s week in February moving from clinic to clinic. Good. So get an Ewe lady and bet me life post-Xmas had still be good.

I hope you’re gradually getting convinced. You should. You know the truth now. Haha. This paragraph is for a certain group. If you’re not a member of that group, kindly close your eyes. Bachelors, attached, mingling and single groups should stay away from this. Don’t go and try it with one ooo my friend, haha you will be paralyzed. Ewe women are bed sheets fairies! Chaai. God has naturally blessed them with that one oo. They can use “scissors” to cut “69” or “96” pieces of clothes for “Mr.Doggie” and “Mr. BJ”, the cobblers who live a few metres from the “missionary” house. Haha. Only smart readers will get this one. Married men, so this is the season ooo. Make babies. Don’t just make “Mary”. Serlorm, Gameli, Dela, Xola and company are waiting to be given birth to. Hurry. You’ve got a Volta lady!

Merry Xmas to you all!

Credit: AGBENU’S SHELF/DECEMBER LEAKS

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